When the fog rolled in

Hey, I want to write a blog post about something really personal—about how after my stroke, even though I was physically disabled, I was mentally still very much okay. But over time, being treated like I couldn’t do anything wore me down, and I started believing it. It wrecked my confidence and I think that’s when I fell into that fog—disassociation, depression, feeling totally disconnected.

After my stroke, my body changed in ways I couldn’t control—but my mind, my spirit, they were still there. I remember thinking, “I’ve got this. I’m still me.” I was physically disabled, yes, but mentally I was strong. Focused. Present. Ready to heal.

But what I wasn’t prepared for was how others would treat me.

People started talking to me slower. Softer. As if I wasn’t fully there. They stopped asking for my opinions or trusting me to make decisions. And it was subtle at first—but slowly, that treatment started to seep in. I went from knowing I could do things, to wondering if I actually could. I started doubting myself, questioning everything, and before I knew it, the confidence I once had was gone.

That’s when the fog rolled in.

I slipped into a kind of disassociation—a disconnect from myself, my reality. A depressive state that I couldn’t explain, because it didn’t happen overnight. It was like watching your reflection fade until you don’t recognize who’s in the mirror anymore.

I want to share this not because I’m stuck in that place—I’m not. I’m slowly coming out of it, reclaiming pieces of myself, one moment at a time. I'm very surprised as to where this journey has taken me, however the people in my life at this moment and all of us growing together is really helping bring myself back into my body. But I think it’s important to talk about the emotional aftermath that people don’t always see. Because having a brain bleed was the easy part—dealing with the aftermath, now that truly is where the trauma happens. It's funny because they call what happened to me a traumatic brain injury but the trauma doesn't come until after.

This is just one part of my story. But it’s probably the biggest part.