To My Twin Sister: I See It Now

Jessica—

We shared a womb, but I didn’t know how to share anything else.

Growing up, I was terrible to you.

I was mean, a bully.

I didn’t just miss the chance to build a bond with you—I bulldozed over it.

You wanted sisterhood.

You idolized Mary-Kate and Ashley.

You wanted us to be something special—and I didn’t get it.

You were trying to create magic, and I was too arrogant, too selfish, too wrapped up in my own world to see it.

I'm sad that it took a stroke too help me realize that. However able life is to fast-paced and it helped me slow down to smell the roses

---

I convinced you to leave French Immersion and come back to our little school—and then what did I do?

I picked on you.

I tore down the very thing I had asked for.

What kind of sister does that?

I used to ask myself that a lot. But now I realize…

I was hurting.

Even then, long before my stroke, I was insecure.

And instead of reaching for connection, I reached for control.

---

Then came the stroke.

And all my worst traits got cranked up to max volume.

I didn’t handle it well. I lashed out. I lost myself—and took people down with me.

Meanwhile, you did something I didn’t expect:

You got stronger. Tougher.

It was like we switched roles.

You became sharp. Guarded.

And it stung—but I get it now.

You had to protect yourself.

Because for years, I didn’t protect you.

---

Now, every time I reach out, even with kindness, it feels like there’s a filter.

My messages get misread.

People expect me to be mad, even when I’m not.

And it breaks my heart.

Because all I want is to reconnect—not just as your twin, but as your friend.

As someone who finally sees the damage I caused, and is trying to to help me heal it.

---

So Jessica, if you ever read this—

I’m sorry.

I was cruel.

And you deserved better.

You still do.

I know I can’t undo the past.

But I want you to know—I see you.

I love you.

And I hope someday, we can rewrite this story. Together.