This could be deceiving

Before I get too far into this I should tell the story from the beginning and how I got here.

11 years and 8 months ago I had a plan to go to a tree obstacle course with my friends about a half an hour away from where I was. I happened to be a fairly active person. In the morning I vaguely remember my ex kissing me bye as he went to work for the day...

Forgive me it was 11 years ago I could be forgetting some details. After getting there and about halfway through the course my left side went tingly, like when a limb falls asleep. I clearly didn't know what was going on, looking around at the woods and knowing I hate spiders I said out loud maybe it's an allergic reaction. Not knowing that this one statement would ruined my life. I had asked the guide to help me get to the ground because something was happening. (Yes to the ground because while this was happening I was on a platform in the middle of a tree)

This sounds classy but it definitely does not feel like it at all, I'm writing this blog entry with my feet up sipping on my matcha latte lol but I'm wearing these ridiculous glasses that helps you see looking down while your head is straight because I don't want my neck hurting. I seen Jack Nicholson wear them in that movie The bucket list and I said hey I have those LOL

Anyway back to the story ...

so I got down and called 911... Because that's what you do when something like this happens right? Well they actually made it worse. One of the paramedics froze up and couldn't do anything so the other by themselves... I remember calling my twin sister who luckily was at my parents at the time. When I heard the sirens I went to go meet them up at the lodge but I could not walk so I had to sit back down.. I remember everything up until I went unconscious. And that's where things get fuzzy... Still to this day I'm kind of in the dark about a lot of things.. unfortunately I don't even have a neurologist.. my family doctor retired in December

.. there should be a doctor following me but I don't think there is.. this system is just awful, I feel like I need to get out of it or I'm going to die....

I'm sorry I know I'm dramatic. When I first had my stroke I just tried to continue living my life. However the way society treated me was completely off. I could not believe the difference. The biggest change I would say was there sexual harassment. I don't know why men felt it okay to say whatever they want to me now. It's honestly been disgusting. My favorite one was because somebody told me not to tell anyone, and now I have the power to tell everyone.. a cab driver thought it was appropriate to tell me he was a virgin.. why,.. maybe in his sick mind he thought I would do something about it which I definitely did not. My latest encounter was somebody saying they fantasize about washing me.. WTF!

There is a service for individuals who use a wheelchair that would basically provide a free ride and it would have been so helpful for me but I did not want to take advantage of it because I got harassed too much. Maybe if I felt comfortable to take it I would have kept going to my therapies and wouldn't have gone into my brain fog state.

Along with many other factors of treatment by society there is no doubt why I went into a brain fog/disassociation/depressive state.

I've been in that for years and I've seen myself slowly getting back to my old therapies and my old self